{"id":1171,"date":"2019-05-27T11:11:24","date_gmt":"2019-05-27T11:11:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/martymachowski.com\/?p=1171"},"modified":"2019-05-27T11:14:00","modified_gmt":"2019-05-27T11:14:00","slug":"its-not-my-fault-helping-your-kids-own-their-sin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/martymachowski.com\/its-not-my-fault-helping-your-kids-own-their-sin\/","title":{"rendered":"It\u2019s Not My Fault! Helping Your Kids Own Their Sin"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"Parents<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Blame-shifting is one of the oldest sins in the book, and one of the first strategies our kids deploy to avoid responsibility for their mistakes.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Blame-shifting made its debut when Adam blamed Eve for his sin. After Adam blamed Eve, she blamed the serpent, and we\u2019ve been following in their footsteps ever since. No one taught Adam how to shift the blame for his first sin, nor does anyone need to teach our kids. We are all born with the instinct to blame-shift; it\u2019s part of our sinful nature. So it is no surprise that our kids become pros at blame-shifting by the time they hit first grade.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You know the drill. You hear a scream coming from the boys\u2019 bedroom, followed by an accusation: \u201cHe hit me.\u201d
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After an Olympic sprint to the boy\u2019s bedroom, you find that your 5-year-old son John is a bucket of tears. You look over to his older brother Davis and ask, \u201cDid you hit your little brother?\u201d
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJohn spit on me,\u201d Davis replies, shifting the blame back to John as he holds out his shirt, revealing a wet spot. Now your interrogation takes you back to John.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJohn, did you spit on Davis?\u201d
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe tried to take my car,\u201d John answers in your makeshift courtroom, refusing to take responsibility. With that, an \u201c\u2018I did not\u2019 . . . \u2018Did so\u2019\u201d argument breaks out between the boys and goes on until your temperature reaches critical, and you reprimand the two of them at the top of your lungs.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The ruckus wakes your wife, who enters the room just as you finish your angry scolding. \u201cHoney,\u201d she says, giving you \u201cthe look.\u201d \u201cYou are raising your voice.\u201d
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDon\u2019t look at me,\u201d you reply. \u201cIf these boys would play nice, I wouldn\u2019t have to raise my voice.\u201d Clearly, it\u2019s not my fault<\/em>, you think. They are the ones doing the fighting<\/em>.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There it is again: blame-shifting. Whenever we get caught, whether it is in a fit of anger, a lie, or just about any lapse in judgment, we look to clear our name by shifting the blame on to something or someone else. If others irritate us and we get angry, it is their fault for irritating us. Burn the dinner while playing a game on your phone? It\u2019s the oven\u2019s fault. Throw away the birthday card, with the twenty-dollar bill inside? The person who left it on the table is to blame.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So how do you address blame-shifting in your family? Here are a few helpful pointers.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. Teach your kids how sin works. James 1:14\u201315 explains how our sinful desires give in to temptations, which lead to sin. Teach your children that our first instinct in response to our sin is shifting the blame away to someone or something else. Review the story of Adam and Eve\u2019s shifting of their blame in Genesis 3. Teach them that blame-shifting is a sin (Romans 2:1). <\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n
    1. Lead your family by example. When you sin, don\u2019t shift the blame. Take responsibility for your fault and confess your sin (Proverbs 28:13\u201314). When you address a conflict, remind your children to take responsibility without blame-shifting. You could say, \u201cOkay kids, I want someone to take responsibility and tell me what you did wrong.\u201d <\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n
      1. When you do fall to the sin of blame-shifting, confess blame-shifting as an additional sin and practice asking forgiveness for it. Parents, it is vital for us to model this practice before our children. While we don\u2019t have to teach our kids how to blame-shift, we do have to teach them how to own their sin. <\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

        Finally, get a copy of Don\u2019t Blame the Mud<\/a><\/em>, a fun story I\u2019ve written to help parents teach children to take responsibility for their mistakes. Don\u2019t Blame the Mud<\/a><\/em> also provides parents with a short Bible study on sin and temptation they can use with their family. After reading the book, you can use the phrase, \u201cDon\u2019t blame the mud\u201d as a humorous reminder anytime your kids are tempted to shift the blame.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        Blame-shifting is one of the oldest sins in the book, and one of the first strategies our kids deploy to avoid responsibility for their mistakes. Blame-shifting made its debut when Adam blamed Eve for his sin. After Adam blamed Eve, she blamed the serpent, and we\u2019ve been following in their footsteps ever since. No one […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1173,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39,38],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"\nIt\u2019s Not My Fault! 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